Monday, 23 September 2013

The Eternal Optimist Unplugged - Version 1.0

"Mirror, mirror, mirror on my shelf
Am I doing well for myself?"

I mentally echoed this question off my mirror and I saw the reflection of a tired teenager with sunken eyes without the glow of continuous energy he once had.

I'm here with this post to make a....ah, what's that phrase? 'a clean breast of everything' to the best possible extent. And this might not be just about me. You may be in the same boat as me in the same lake, or perhaps in a cruise in the ocean ways with no visible captain steering that unstable ship of your life. So, you might be able to do yourself a favor by reading on.

Friday, 12 July 2013

THE Autodriver - Hidden truths about Chennai

Let me skip the part where I say this happened when I was doing my internship and I chose to meet up with my almost-always-awfully-late but an awesome project partner in the evenings at Express Avenue - Chennai's best and most celebrated mall in the recent times. Simply put, the atmosphere was condusive there. Well, there was this fashion show that took place with gorgeuos models with glowing skin and rich dresses which I shall....Ahem ahem...conveniently skip (Now now, no groaning) to discuss matters of greater significance.

Note: All conversations are in English, for readers' convenience.





"Express Avenue", I said firmly to an auto I just managed to catch in a road that literally boasted CARS loudly.

"Evalo aavum (How much is the fare)", I asked promptly before setting my right foot inside the vehicle.

"Nooru ruva."

I set my right foot firmly inside the auto, carefully stowed my laptop bag to the side and started the trip, satisfied with his character. Little did I know that my next sentence would be the basis for this very post you are now reading.

Tuesday, 9 July 2013

The Scare - 1

Saying "I was busy" is no excuse. Calling myself a passionate blogger without a single entry for four months is of not something I can be proud of. But after months of hectic last moment-work completion-due-to-initial-laziness routine, I finally fought through my holidays to do an internship when I encountered this particular and a true incident where I finally thought, "Hey, this would make a good story to tell." So folks, welcome back to my blog and Happy reading!

Note to readers:
1.Short stories are not (yet) my forte. Proceed at your own reading risk!
2. Places not revealed for personal reasons.





Headache. Upset stomach. Where is the damn train?

I looked at my watch. 3:55 pm. Krishnan was busy jabbing away on his phone. Was it a girlfriend? None of my business, I chided myself.

Krishnan who? Well, It was my second week into my internship at Z. Krishnan was one of my project mates. We had a swell first week and a not so-swell second week. Reasons for that were my health, our randomness and our realization of "Woah, this a vast subject", all in that order. My stomach took a turn for the worse and here I was whispering prayers to all the gods I knew to take me home safely before my body betrayed me!

The station at Z was where we always stood to take our local train. Krishnan got down at A and a few stops later, it was my station B. Today, we arrived earlier at the station, quite earlier than our usual 5:15 train. I guess that's enough introduction.

"I am going to kill myself if its the same dingy train that came yesterday. Dude, tell those samosa hawkers not to get into this one. Absolutely no place man", I said, keeping a straight face with a contantly twisting stomach, trying to sound cool.

Krishnan looked up and threw his typically distracted I-type-yet-I-hear-you-without-distraction smile. Many people I knew,always asked Krishnan whether he was trying to be a military man with that tight posture, restricted lip movements and a sound physique. He appreciated humor of any kind with open arms, but was generally a silent person. No point distracting him.

Long honking cushioned with Doppler Effect. Phew! The train arrived. Not dingy. Double phew!

Empty with seats!!! Triple phew! Triple Yay in fact. After jumping compartments like two excited school kids, we settled down in a first class compartment which was empty, barring two people.

"Who's bag is this?" , Krishnan asked and plonked himself next to the window seat.

"Bag? What bag?", I asked.

This is where, my dear kind readers, the story finally begins.

It was a harmless looking red shoulder bag with black sling. With the letters TNROA printed on it.

I had this habit of trying to answer people's questions without giving a no. So, I switched to Sherlock Holmes mode. Half guessed the fact that he was a tall man judging by the length of the sling. Quite a careful and an economical fella when it came to matters of money. Well, the fact that it appeared worn but well used was really a giveaway. TNROA? I didnt have Holmes' brain.

"Tamil Nadu Revenue Officials Association", I exclaimed after a minute. I could tell you I was superhuman. Nah. Il be honest. Krishnan saw me googling it.

"So, he's a revenue officer? Hope he wont check our tickets.", I thought.

"What dya reckon? A bomb inside that?", asked Krishnan. Damn you man. You had this knack of hyping petty things up and sizing huge things down.

"Dont be silly man! Bomb? In a local train? Gimme a break.", I said fending off his loudly spoken thought.

"There's no one in this compartment. Somebody left it here, didnt they? Looks like it was on purpose.", persisted my partner.

For the first time in my life, I regretted reading crime novels and action thrillers.

"Dai dai, dont give me the creeps. My stomach i already weak."

By this time, our train crossed 2 stations and was chugging along to a halt on the platform of D. Here was where the nearby college's "hot chicks" and other college boys would get in. Three of those "other" boys got in.

Now, Im going to give them names. They played such a vital part in this one. Let me see...
Im calling them Ipod, Racer and Foodie. Ipod cos this guy was hooked on to it after the bag incident, Racer as he started playing that bike game and Foodie because he was pleasantly round, chubby and....you get it, dont you? Hey, dont blame me. In my defense, he WAS carrying a Food Management course book or something!

"Excuse me, but can you keep your bag on your lap?", asked Racer.

Oh dear! This was going to be one long train journey!

Who owned this bag? Why was it left here? Was that actually a bomb?
Well, it wasnt a bomb, cause I'm alive typing this. I'll conclude this part with one no-brainer of a clue as to what you can expect. 'The Scare' turned out to be ironic.



To be continued.







 

Wednesday, 20 March 2013

Fighting tooth and nail for a Q5

The title is an exaggeration. Not exactly tooth and nail. But I did as he told. 'He' meaning my dad.


"So, 10 on 10. Will you get it this semester?"

No way. Was he asking for the unreachable? All this for an Audi?


Well, Audi is and must be gifted for special reasons and occasions. So no excuses there. The brand is for people who reach out and 'ready to die trying' people. Like me. So yeah, i wanted to give it my best shot for the next semester exams. Continuous evaluation in college made life hell with all sorts of record writing, etc. But I wanted to try. I tried protesting.

"You know, dad, that my highest score is nowhere near that!"

Dad was a stickler. An ethics guy. But a cool guy. He was willing to buy even 2 Audis for me. His love for Audi started way back when he worked for different automotive companies. He always prided on brand value and Audi was no exception.

"In 2012, Audi kept leaders BMW and Merc worried about their lead in the Indian markets. Audi grew the fastest at 79% a quarter ago and I stake my bets on Audi. Cmon son, they are doing their best to break more than even and stay at no 1, why the hell can't you put the same effort??''

There. I stared incredulously. My own dad compared me with a car! There you go, that's the kind of love we are talking about. Intensely fierce competition runs down in our blood and that spices things up. Audi is no different.

"But dad, I want the Q5 So badly! The SUV for a new generation.Just like me dad, "Convincing without being persuasive." Its sportive without being unreasonable giving efficient driving pleasure.", I reeled off these words as exactly given in the description of the Q5 at Audi.in, straight from my mind!!

My dad, however, didnt miss the trick. "Those were from the site, wasnt it??"

I grinned sheepishly, hands scratching my head. He started walking away with a smile.

I was a single guy all life long. I could depend on Audi to pick up the right chick for me. Hell yeah, only best friends know the right kind of girl for you. Well, I love the Audi more than my girlfriends anyway, if i ever get one. I could silently drive through the night and my Audi would keep company for my thoughts. Steering was the least worrisome affair. A friend of mine once told me he would'nt trade his Audi even for his right lung! Yeah, he was a smoker alright.

"Just imagine the class I would proudly show, Dad! You know I've worked hard! give it another thought na??"

He stopped in his tracks and turned. I half expected him to dangle those brand new Q5 keys from his hands.

"Son, let me give you a piece of advice. With Audi, there are no second thoughts. Likewise, for you, there are no second chances. You want an Audi, go and put your damn effort. Now run. Atta Boy!", said my dad and walked away with a final flourish.

Guess what I'm gonna do next? Get that elusive baby. That one of a kind beauty. Who wants a gal when Audi is that mistress who lets you indulge in her? I wasnt satisfied with my new Audi scale model. I want the real thing. All of it. Im going after her.




Now, if anyone asks my readers what my first love was, they'd tell you, in glowing terms, that I was a nutjob who loved Audi like no-one ever did. So much for love. So much for Audi.



 

My Love - My Audi

This is exclusive and specially for the Audi fans and for the competition #LoveAudi on Twitter. After a sleepless night and some soul-searching, I contructed this and won an Audi scale model:



For others, tis a poem. For me, tis an etched story
of Audi - a car of my dreams - my take with history.
For now, on Twitter, you stay a top trend.
But forever, at heart, you are my dream friend.

You stand out, true to 'Vorsprung Durch Technik'
so yeah, girls ogle daily, over your physique.
Your rings are symbolic and of inspiration
to all those who toil and buy this manufacturing innovation.

From the times of Type E, 80s and TDI
now dealing with Bodyshells, FSI and MMI,
you came in sedan, coupe and roadster,
stood the test of time, still very hipster.

The R8 curvy, boasting king size luxury.
The A8L sporty is all too stylish and vervy!
Elegance, sportsmanship, performance and class,
its too much emotion one cannot pass!

You ooze love from all royal sides,
be it the insides, body or the flashy lights.
'My oh my!' You evoke that desire
among celebs- kings of power and attire.

Lots and loads to express, may I say?
As love limitless pours throughout this day.
Not Enough! But speechless I'll always be
when I spot an Audi anywhere, yeah true, that's me.

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

The 'Juice' of my life.

Twitter competitions are a rage now. Everyone at office, college, home or outdoors are madly tweeting way to win something. For people who organize it, it is a great promotion. Win-Win.
This, however, is not just a poem for winning. It is a true story. For the #HangoutWithFizz competition conducted by Appy



The first drop soothed the tongue
of ripe and bitter tastes of the past.
Scared at first, doubtful I hung,
of your inherent sweetness, 'Would it last?'

We bonded, like two hesitant people
over dinner, functions and parties.
With time, we became a known couple
intimate than any known pair of hotties!

You made me drunk, you made me happy
with apples and sugar, ofcourse dear Appy
whose every drop was a kiss
of new life I would never miss.

There were times good and bad
but with my Appy, I never once felt sad.
The comfort you gave, I never (untill now) realized
but you gave it to me, fully chilled and iced!

'Wish you had eyes, that would sweetly blink'
But one day, Hey, I swear I saw you wink

when i mentioned, 'Friends, do try him out,

He'll be your coolest best forever friend, no doubt!'

My thanks is lost. Speechless, I have no words
xcept the musical tune and those whistling birds
who sang your glory and cried,
'May your HAPPINESS spread far and wide"


Friday, 1 March 2013

Im being eaten up alive!!

I have gone nuts. I cant take drugs, go high or start shooting people. So, I turned to writing this one.


I'm not on drugs, I aint sane either.
I have no satisfaction, life, contentment neither.
Walking barely, zombie-alike
I strive to make sense in this one, Intense dislike
spewing from within, for no apt reason.
For all I know, this aint the success season.
March forth I did, with all smiles and confidence
Now, my faith is shaken, my mind is barren, clean but ripe with diffidence.
I feel my soul being sucked, my youth being plucked
(Hey, wasnt I strong when I withstood the thrown filth and muck?)
by the iron clasp of laziness and procrastination.
Although it does rhyme, the solution aint drugs and (chuckles) masturbation.


Once glorious, now sullen
but it hurts a lot, the change being sudden.
Lots of work, lots of responsibility.
I was ready long ago. Now, I've lost the capability
to be patient, to be forthcoming, to be bright,
to be happy, to be busy and to always be right.
Where is my soul? Where is my authority?
Desperately wanting my old self back, who lived with sense and priority.
I write a poem , when I grow sad,
happy, ballistic and in this case, MAD.
Save my soul, I need prayers
not heartless bastards, bitches and soothsayers!


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